sábado, 3 de agosto de 2024

A step by step practical guide to cycling suicide

 Step one. Agree to a 2-up, non-stop ride to Sumners Ponds with The Pope.


Step two. Don’t get coffee in the morning. Why on earth would you want a potent, legal, performance enhancement drug in your body?


Step three. Ignore your own advice to anyone riding to Sumners Ponds (https://www.unbiciorejon.com/2018/10/you-need-to-read-this-if-you-are.html) and take your fair share of turns at the front. 


What the hell!!! Push the pace a little. That might be a bit irresponsible, even arrogant, but a sure path to cycling suicide.


Step four. Ignore the fact that you are dropped in the first two climbs and keep taking your fair share of turns at the front.


Never mind about pushing the pace a little anymore. The damage is done. Cycling suicide in four simple steps.


Worst of all, you are dead and still have 50km more to go.


You are now in cycling hell. The Pope smiling and waving goodbye to Sumners Ponds coffee shop as we ride past is the confirmation. He is actually having a great time. It turns out that riding with The Pope increases your chances of ending up in cycling hell. Who would have guessed.


I’ll spare you the gory details of the rest of the ride. I’m pretty sure you have been in cycling hell yourself and know how it feels. 


The questioning of your choices in life. The wandering of how it is possible that you find yourself in this situation. AGAIN. The sitting on your riding mate’s wheel for the rest of the ride. AGAIN.


The good thing about riding with The Pope is The Pope is full of mercy.


Still, ride with him at your own risk.


The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/12050715222 


Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González


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