I earned my place in heaven today

They might even canonize me!

I accepted The Pope’s suggested ride without even looking at it. Conformity doesn’t necessarily help you to open heaven’s doors so it wasn’t that what earned me my place in heaven.

First few kilometres were neutralised. I used them to gauge the situation. The Pope had ridden yesterday to Oxford but he didn’t ride back nor did he drink more than a single pint. Not great news for me. I was feeling fine but definitively not fully recovered from Saturday’s ride to Arundel. Again, not great news for me. The Pope disappeared uphill on the first hill and that was the confirmation that I was in serious problems. 

Being the strategist I am, I came out with a brilliant plan. Try to follow The Pope in the hills and to try to punish him in the flats and downhills. 

Evil? Don’t worry. My actions later in the ride more than compensated this little sin.

The plan was working ok(ish) (Let’s be honest, the part of following The Pope in the hills was not that easy, and I wasn’t really delivering on the part of punishing him in the flats and downhills, but the illusion of following a plan was still there). Around Km 50, not even half way through the ride, The Pope suggested a change in the route. 

I accepted immediately (as mentioned above, conformity with The Pope doesn’t necessarily help you to open heaven’s doors). “Around 10 extra kilometers he said”. “More hills, I suppose.” I said. “Not really.” he answered. 

I didn’t believe him (It turns out it was, in Pope’s own words, “20 hilly kms”). Not believing The Pope’s words is definitively a sin, probably bigger than being evil with your ride strategy. I was certainly accumulating some christian debt but you’ll see my actions clearly paid it. 

In the second half of the ride, after the coffee stop, when we were back on route, I noticed it was easier to follow my plan. It wasn’t me that I had improved (although I have had a coffee and I was feeling its effect), it was The Pope that was slowing down.

It was around Km 100 when he confessed to me he needed a gel and he didn’t have any.

I quickly came to the conclusion that telling him I didn’t have any was not an option. It is not that I didn’t want to lie to The Pope. I would have without hesitation if that were an option, it is not that often that you have The Pope against the ropes with three hills to come. It is just that no one that has ridden with me would believe I was out of gels with 50km and three hills to go.

I had six left! Two of them with 100mg of caffeine. I only needed two to get home. I knew The Pope would also need two to get home. I reluctantly gave him one. Without caffeine of course.

I’m sure Eclesiastés 11-1’s “Be generous, and someday you will be rewarded” is powerful, but feeding 40grams of carbs to The Pope 10km before climbing White Hill takes you straight to the doors of heaven.

But it doesn’t get you in.

What gives you your place in heaven, and probably gets you canonized, is to give The Pope a second gel. 

10km before the final sprint!!!!

Did I give it to him with a forced smile on my face? Yes, I have to admit it. My first instincts are not always the most honorable ones.

Did the gel help him? The Pope overtook me in the last little ramp saying “the gel works”. He even sprinted for the line.

Not taking a sprint you can win is a mortal sprinter’s sin and I didn’t want to waste all the catholic capital I had accumulated…

Saint Speedy Gonzalez sounds great and I reckon that name is not taken.

The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/18646644331/

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

Javier and the Pacemakers

The name of this band is “Javier and the Pacemakers” (little homage to the Talking Heads here).

On tour today with performances in London, Islip, Tewkesbury, Chepstow, Labourn, and Henlye on Thames.

GC Denis at the climbs, Bidders at the rest of the instruments, Javier always at the back.

As always their concerts started with a version of Ike & Tina Turner’s “Working together”. A song the band uses to invite other musicians onto stage. Even if they normally chose to take an accompanying role, never interfering with the protagonism of the three artists. 

In this tour Tom Rosenthal’s Go Solo was played only a couple of times. Something the public really enjoyed, as allowed Javier to show his famous “steady pace” virtuosism. 

Supertramp’s “It’s raining again” was not very well received though. Some argued it left them cold. 

Remarkable performance by Bidder playing "Puncture Repair" by Half Man Half Biscuit. A song that was played at speed and with efficiency.

The band felt cared and loved by the public at Labourn. Bidder’s performance versioning The Wiggles’ "Rice Pudding" and GC Denis’ excelled at The Toy Dolls’ "Beans on Toast" was specially celebrated. Quite a success that tour stop.

The crowd at Henley-on-Thames, as always, shown their preference for the band’s version of 10mm’s "Gas Station Coffee"

Bob Mareley’s "Is This Love" closed the tour. Impressive hearing the crowd and the band singing together “"Is this love - is this love - is this love - is this love that I'm feelin'?”. 

What a way of finishing a tour.

The tour in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/18352260364/

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

Liege-Bastogne-Liege 2026

Proper new bike day (picture included). What better occasion than riding my first La Doyenne in the sun. 

I really liked the route. I still have to ride Flanders, but I suspect this is the ride I like the most from the monuments. Great scenery, lots of hills, and a good atmosphere. 

I am, obviously, totally biased, but the bicycle felt amazing. Light and fast. The two things the rider didn’t feel today. 

From the beginning I knew my legs were not fresh. A busy week at work, not much sleep during the week, and all the normal excuses apply in this case. 

I still managed to stay in the front of the Kingston Wheelers group until kilometre 55. At that point I need a pee stop and take my rain jacket and cap off. By the time I jumped on the bike I was about two minutes behind them. No chance for me to catch them. 

At the next feed station I had a quick look to see if I could find them but I couldn’t so I did the clever thing. I decided to ride non-stop. I had enough food to finish the ride without relying on the feed stations so there was nothing really stopping me from doing it, right?

Went very well. Riding on my own meant I was being consistent, riding without spikes. I was also having fun, I was enjoying the day.  

A shame that from km 150 my legs started to feel tired. And it is a shame because I still had 100km to go and the last 50km were the hardest. Had to enter survival mode.

Now, I’m not a too competitive person, but the way I managed to survive was playing in my head the race situation. I wasn’t sure where Bidders, GC Denis and Noel were but the way I was thinking was there were three options.

They either were ahead of me and, if so, I wouldn’t catch them, they had stopped for long at the feed stations and so they wouldn’t catch me, or they were coming from behind and eventually they would catch me before the finish.

So, to survive, not because I am too competitive, just as a survival strategy, I imagined I was in a break away and they were the peloton chasing me. 

I played the brake away role perfectly. Slowing down as the kilometers were passing. Imaginging the peloton closing up on me. 

Being the master strategist I am I decided to start slowing easy, reserving my legs. In my mind, that way, if the peloton caught me, I could stay on their wheel and beat them at the sprint. 

It turns out the peloton didn’t catch me. And as we were approaching the finish line I spotted the Belgium champion ahead of me. 

I can beat Tim Wellens in Belgium (or some random cyclist that didn’t look particularly fast, dressed as Tim Wellens. Which is, more or less, the same). What a prestigious win that would be.

I played my cards well. Stayed on his wheel the couple of tricky turns before the final straight. The final straight was very short so my sudden sprint took him completely by surprise. 

Instead of admiring my race craft he looked at me with that “there is always a stupid rider sprinting for the line in a sportive” expression. 

Bad loser, if you ask me.

I was a good winner though. I didn’t celebrate (too embarrassing, even for me). I got my medal, my chocomel, and the victory picture and felt great about myself.

It is the little things…

The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/18256331842

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

The Amstel Gold Race 2026

Things you don't want to hear 1 minute before the agreed departure time. "I don't know what to wear", "Where's Adam's truck pump", "The silence of TY not being around". God, how do I miss the ones in this group that are on time.

I know my navigation skills have a (unfair) bad reputation, but, in case you were wondering, I didn’t get lost. The route is like that. Including going twice up the Fromberg.

Turns out I am not a sprinter. Today I saw what a real sprinter looks like and they don’t look like me. They are big human beings that ride very fast in the flat and the descents, use raw power to pass small ramps and hills and are dropped if the climb is longer than a few hundred meters. The being dropped bit I see in me, what I struggle with is riding that fast in the flat. They are scary machines, even my mother laughs when I say I am a muscular guy. 

This ride was 237.59 km. If I add the 3.85 km I rode to the start, that makes 241.44km, that is: 150.023861 miles. Enough to take me to E132 AND, crucially to count towards my lifelong objective of E150. 3 more rides to get to E133. 56 more rides to get to E150. You’ll need to google “eddington number in cycling” if you don’t know what I am talking about.

This takes me to the classification of this ride. This is a ride “Worth to be Recorded” (Any ride longer than 241.402 km (150 miles)) and Not-Flat (Any ride that is between 1000m and 2000m of climbing per 100km). I thought I had signed up for a short, flat and easy ride in The Netherlands. I even took my bike with fitted aerobars. 

Next weekend we are riding Liege-Bastogne-Liege. Everyone tells me it is longer and harder than this ride.

At least it will also count towards my E150.

The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/18162044422 

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

KW - Different Milkchurn

 You know your sprinting form is not good if you celebrate being third at the coffee stop sprint behind The Pope and GC Denis. 

Of course that result was probably due to the amount of work I had been doing at the front in the first 60% of the ride (It turns out some riders are pretty sensitive about the coffee stop not being exactly half way into the route…). Yes, most of my work I did at the front was when we were stopped, going downhill, or about to go downhill. I, maybe, didn’t work as much as GC Denis had done until then, but certainly way more than the work The Pope had done in the whole day.

I was quite content anyway.

This was a weird ride, you see. 

Everything felt backwards. The route was in the wrong direction. The Pope was riding easy (he said he has a half-marathon tomorrow… the extremes some go sit at the back of the group all day…). JFW was mostly in silence all day and didn’t take any sprint in the first 30k. DD was killing it doing five minute intervals each time she hit the front of the group. Dai sprinting, winning and celebrating, bicycle over his head, a townsign I didn’t even know was there…

It felt I was the only one being the true version of himself.

I even had to lead the group into Cobham when all of them slowed down because none of them wanted to sit in the front so close to the final sprint.

Despite everything everyone behaved like a proper team member the moment we started the approach to the Esher sprint. 

Neutralised to the traffic lights. I sat at the back of the group. 

DD pushed the pace in the first ramp, which meant a spicy approach from the beginning. 

Then JFW took his turn. Following his traditional pattern, hard, but not for long. 

Things got serious when GC Denis moved to the front. We were starting the final ramp and the risk of him pushing it all the way to the line was real.

Then The Pope moved to the front. That almost felt like an attack. But he looked back a couple of times. No doubt to make sure he was pacing us correctly.

Dai took it from there. A strong acceleration. I felt like Philipsen behind van del Poel. He almost dropped me. I was already drafting a complaint letter to the KW committee for bad team mate behaviour when he chivalrously moved to the left and put me in the front.

Into a meaningful head wind!!!!

Never mind. I took (another) one for the team, dug deep, and I crossed the line first. 

We all celebrated together at Esher traffic lights. Everyone exultant for my magnificent win. Such a big difference to other teams that always end up talking about disqualifying other members of the team for the most spurious reasons.

The Pope spoke words of wisdom: "Normality has been restored"

Amen.

The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/17888737855/ 

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

Gently Bentley 200km (Audax)

This is probably what I needed. A solid ride, lots of kilometres, lots of short efforts.

If you ever find yourself with that need here is my advice.

Enter Gently Bentley. Get in GC Denis’ team. Make sure Bidders, Noel, Amir, and Sacha are also part of the team, let them do their thing, and try to hold their wheel. 

That’s it. Adam and GC Denis will take monster turns in the front, the others will add their bit and you’ll get a solid ride, lots of kilometres, a lot of short efforts, jelly legs and brain hypoxia. 

Guaranteed. 

Excellent training.

I blew up at kilometre 120. Jelly legs.

Unfortunately for me I caught up with them again at kilometre 130 and they were mean enough to slow down to keep me there for the rest of the ride. Me and my jelly legs.

The lack of oxygen in my brain made make a mistake at the last control. Somehow the last sprint was mentioned and I implied to everyone I had been thinking about it.

My problem was that I had been thinking about it for a while and I couldn’t remember what the last sprint was.

Yes, me and my jelly legs were thinking on how to beat them all in the last sprint. Yes, I have ridden Gently Bentley 8 times (I checked), every single year since 2019. Yes, I couldn’t remember the last sprint. Yes, my comment, which I can’t remember now, left it very clear to everyone I had been thinking about the last sprint.

It must have been a severe lack of oxygen in my brain. 

It was the Esher sprint!!!! The worst sprint if you have jelly legs.

I didn’t care. I was determined to beat them all. 

Should you visit A&E hours after you suffered a severe lack of oxygen in your brain?

The Esher sprint came and I was last wheel of the group (which proves that race kraft is not affected by lack of oxygen in the brain).

The problem was that in the last ramp everyone and their cousins thought of themselves as sprinters. The GC riders (too many races watching Pogacar), the TTers (too many races watching Ganna) and the rouleurs (too many races watching van der Poel).

The sprinter was fourth.

Great result considering the jelly legs and the lack of oxygen in the brain.

The ride in Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/17819359647/ 

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González

KW - Wargrave

The moment Sam W. decided this ride was a bit too fast for him and decided to do his own thing I suspected I was in trouble.

I haven’t ridden with Sacha before but just seeing him riding in the first few kilometres I knew he was a strong rider.

Still, “third is the worst I can do in all sprints in this ride”, I thought. That was my natural positiveness and optimism in action.

An optimism that lured me into taking turns at the front with my riding mates.

Not my wisest move. Why would you do that if you know that you are in trouble?

I got away with it though. At least until the coffee stop. 

As soon as we got to the first ramp after Wargrave I was going backwards. Not long after I signed Sacha to pass me and told him to carry on, I was going to drop and ride solo. 

Now, on my own. I set a crawling pace home.

Unfortunately for me GC Denis and Sacha waited for me at the end of Drift Rd. 

“Third in the sprint I thought”. Not sure who took it. I was literally minutes behind.

Despite words mentioned indicating otherwise, I interpreted their gesture of waiting for me as noble, friendly and caring.

They slowed down the pace, allowed me to sit at the back of the trio, and looked back every now and then to make sure I was still there.

And I was. For the most part. Every now and then a gap opened but they waited for me. Over one of the bridges GC Denis opened a gap. Sacha stayed with me and rode in front of me to close it while GC Denis slowed down. 

I was so impressed that I decided I was not going to sprint at the final sprint. And, believe me, I don’t make such a decision all that often.

As soon as we got to Sunbury-on-Thames GC Denis moved to the front and upped the pace. I was at the back holding for my dare life.

He kept accelerating. Going faster and faster. My heart rate was going up and I was starting to get excited.

But I told myself: You have been sitting on their wheel for the last 25km. Don’t sprint. It wouldn’t be good sportsmanship, it would be bad for your reputation, it wouldn’t be fair. Leave it up to them.

We passed the mark I use to start my sprints and I stayed at the back. Ready to enjoy the show.

Sacha moved to the right and accelerated. Somehow I was still on his wheel. 

Next thing I know is I was thinking: “Fuck it, I’m sprinting”.

And I took it. Not my best sprint. Definitively not my most honorable sprint, but I took it.

This was an expensive ride from the reputation point of view. I’ll be lucky if Sam W. doesn’t report me to the Kingston Wheelers committee for false ride advertisement (I posted the ride as K2.5, it felt to me as K1.5, although it probably was a traditional K2) and that final sprint probably destroyed any possibility of anyone thinking that I am a fair sprinter…

But that sprint made it up for being third at Drift Rd. Totally worth it.

The ride in Strava (my longest ride in three months!!!!): https://www.strava.com/activities/17731174062/ 

Take care of yourself

Javier Arias González